random thoughts II

I am so happy today. I am smiling from ear to ear. Waking up thinking of you is paradise. I no longer notice the scars on my face because of you. Because you don’t. Who knew that all it takes for a tortured soul to find peace is a loving embrace.

I am happy today. Because if I asked you to love me, you would. And if I kissed you, you would kiss me back.

If you died I would bury you in my garden. If anyone would mind it, I'd steal your coffin. It wouldn't be that difficult compared to crouching in the Iraqi desert watching convoys of steel rolling to their deaths. Hearing the whine of an incoming missile, the brief shrieks of men and the twisting of metal into claws. I would make your grave my temple. I would sit there with your grave in front of me, my sword by my side and meditate.

My death would be a trivial event in my life compared to yours because you are my life. God works in mysterious ways. He tells us to resist temptation and when we give in it is not pain we feel but heavenly pleasure mixed with guilt. I am addicted.

You really don’t know how I feel. You just think I am in love. It is only when you are in love that you will notice how inadequate those three words "I love you" really are.

Plain, simple and very beautiful.

Random thoughts

The forbidden laws of society question my mere existence…I don’t care but may be sometimes I do. I guess I am human too. Unless this is a dream or maybe I am a spirit who wants to be human, yet the man haunts me!

I am still & I watch everyone pass by walking at their own pace. Doing good, Doing evil! May be I am an ant…the difference? I don’t have to follow anyone’s footprints. I feel I exist but I am not sure if I do... Is feeling the only criteria for existence? May be the world is forever shedding its feelings!

All this is scary, perhaps more than some of the worst nightmares. Nightmares don’t last long, reality does! I am scared of all the big faces that bring a thunderstorm in my life. These hidden faces haunt me & whistle in my ears with my every breath. Not every face threatens me, but I weep when I remember those enlightened faces turn black with time… I don’t know the sanity of my fears… But I know they can harm me.

May be some times, I like fear too, perhaps that is the only thing that makes me realize that I am not a zephyr of thought that comes without knocking and passes without intimation. I guess I am insane because I’m not able to evacuate myself from the grave of hatred & power! May be this is just not my world. May be my world starts from the horizon where love and feelings coincide.

Let me be

Heartbroken,
standing here with empty hands.
Cant believe this happened,
again?
No, it hurts no more.
But then I know,
I'm never sure.
Why me?
just let me be.