Who? are you .......

Who do I think of when I am asleep?

Who is she?

Thoughts of her blend together in shimmering pastels and swirl around me while the rain pours down from the heavens.

I touch her with the tips of my fingers, and watch her from beneath lowered lids through a soft periphery of lashes.

I want to lean closer, my hands want to press down on the wet grass, and my cheeks touch her cheeks, then I pull back and my tears glitter in the moonlight on her skin; I come close again and brush them with my lashes.

Back against back, head leaning against her shoulders and I have never felt as safe as I do right this moment underneath the deep black sky with the trees rising high above us, around us, and the stars shining and shining-

The world is quiet, it is cold and still. Not a blade of grass moves but this is the silence of life … breathing, pulsating, beautiful.

Nothing needs to be said. The air around resonates with a soft warm love that emanates from her eyes as she turns to look at me … it dances in delicious tingles down my spine and she smiles and her breath kisses my lips.

She slowly fills my senses … and I gently fall in love …

Who are you? Who…

And you that I love with love so deep… do you love me too???


Spartacus

When Spartacus cried.......

Growing up happens in a heartbeat… One day you're in diapers, the next you're gone, but the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a house like a lot of houses, a yard like a lot of yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. I remember how hard it was growing up among people and places I loved. Most of all, I remember how hard it was to leave. And the thing is, after all these years I still look back… in wonder…

There are days, when go into the bathroom invert the bucket, sit on it and cry. It’s hard to believe and it’s embarrassing to accept. But yes I do cry at times.

There is a very different side of me people get to see often, a person who wants to make things happen, someone who cannot stop talking about the endless possibilities that human life has to offer…

I fail to understand the uncertainties and unpredictability of life..... And coming to terms with it as I grow up and learning to move along is the last thing on my mind. Things never turn out exactly the way you planned. And it never does. But the fact is, for most people, childhood is still the best times of our lives. And for that reason I hope things don’t turn out as they planned and I hope I never have to grow up…

There are things in the past you simply cannot deny. I still do... the world around me still doesn’t know, I want them to know, but the fact that opening may change the dynamics of my relationship with them, instills a fear in me, I have faced but hardly before. Not even the face of death did I ever feel so miserable that I feel when I look into the eyes of my friends and family and I lie… something’s will remain a part of me throughout this journey…

I don’t want it to end, nor do I want to be a part of it. But, the journey has started, not with my approval (does it really count) and so it will end (without my approval)…