Random thoughts

The forbidden laws of society question my mere existence…I don’t care but may be sometimes I do. I guess I am human too. Unless this is a dream or maybe I am a spirit who wants to be human, yet the man haunts me!

I am still & I watch everyone pass by walking at their own pace. Doing good, Doing evil! May be I am an ant…the difference? I don’t have to follow anyone’s footprints. I feel I exist but I am not sure if I do... Is feeling the only criteria for existence? May be the world is forever shedding its feelings!

All this is scary, perhaps more than some of the worst nightmares. Nightmares don’t last long, reality does! I am scared of all the big faces that bring a thunderstorm in my life. These hidden faces haunt me & whistle in my ears with my every breath. Not every face threatens me, but I weep when I remember those enlightened faces turn black with time… I don’t know the sanity of my fears… But I know they can harm me.

May be some times, I like fear too, perhaps that is the only thing that makes me realize that I am not a zephyr of thought that comes without knocking and passes without intimation. I guess I am insane because I’m not able to evacuate myself from the grave of hatred & power! May be this is just not my world. May be my world starts from the horizon where love and feelings coincide.

Let me be

Heartbroken,
standing here with empty hands.
Cant believe this happened,
again?
No, it hurts no more.
But then I know,
I'm never sure.
Why me?
just let me be.

Eyes are the windows to the soul

She looked at me, standing in front of her. She looked into those remarkable eyes now filled with disgrace and humbleness.....once they were filled with love, happiness and laughter. She looked at that mouth once on the verge of a smile or a joke, now it showed just pieces of skin clinging to lips cut with desperation. She looked at that jaw line, once the symbol of determination, now the picture of malnutrition and decline. She looked at that man and sighed..... She didn’t love him anymore; maybe she never did….. And she walked away leaving him alone amidst the sounds of metal monsters roaring loud as they chewed on skeletons after skeletons…. His turn came to enter the hell of the monsters hungry stomach but, he stood his ground, for they could wait… he was waiting for her to turn in that stillness of spring, so he could sing to her a song, a confused cry of his heart…

I don't love you but I think I like you
Think I like you and I think you know
I don't want you but I do desire you
Do desire you and I won't let go…

I wanna be...

It's a long road
When you're on your own
And it hurts when
They tear your dreams apart
And every new town
Just seems to bring you down
Trying to find peace of mind
Can break your heart

It's a real war
Right outside your front door I tell ya
Out where they'll kill ya
You could use a friend
Where the road is
That's the place for me
Where I'm me in my own space
Where I'm free that's the place
I WANNA BE...

sings Dan Hill in Rambo…

The road is long and the sun is bright and I walk and I’m all alone , I don’t fight
my power, my pleasure, my pain and I know that all have grudges against my little left life.
Death remains my fancy and hope remains my sight.

Oh! but I’m too weak, I can’t walk and crawling with my stoic pride I can’t call out. I think that will make me a hero and something will happen. But, there is no sky above, no earth under my feet a sudden thunder captures my heart and a darkness touches me somewhere deep.

It hurts, it hurts but I’m happy because the pain is gleeful and I want to runaway from life with all its miseries and pain. I’m happy I’m dying.

I think I’m not breathing but I’m still alive! When I open my eyes to cherish the bargain and I woke up in hell and the flames of outside burning the flames of inside and a realization that death isn’t a release from misery because I’m not free and there is no more hope, life after death is a prison after prison and I;
I want to be immortal.

Dan Hill goes on ...

Cause the road is long yeah
Each step is only the beginning
No breaks just heartaches
Oh man is anybody winning...

Wisdom is like electricity. There is no permanently wise man, but men capable of wisdom, who, being put into certain company, or other favorable conditions, become wise for a short time, as glasses rubbed acquire electric power for a while.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

things fade away ...

This feeling, this strange feeling was eating me from inside. It was as if something right underneath my skin was vibrating and getting hot, to the point that it would burn my face and melt something in my eyes. I knew what was going on, I was so familiar with this feeling and I had tried so hard for so long to lose it. I couldn’t. I had come a long way: I had made peace with myself and had tried to get rid of all the hate and anger I once had towards all those who had ever made me feel this way. In theory, I was there. But in practice, every time the situation would repeat, the feeling would come back.
This time I am so mad at myself. Why was I feeling this way again? So what?
Sometimes it is so hard to face the reality , when you keep on running and suddenly stop and think it’s your stop but then you realize that it’s not n then again you run ... to find yourself ...your fate... your destiny but still you get nothing but the same routine and same darkness around you ... what you do then ??? I don’t know why sometimes a person doesn’t lose but winning is also seems as a dream ... why???
Sorry Nikhila, Sanika, Richa…

I am Spartacus

At the start of a journey,
I stand thinking of how to go.
May my feet carry me firmly,
May I never swerve from the road.

I know there are paths that lead
To a cozy little hell,
Where vipers nest and breed,
Where creeping creatures dwell.

Such paths are not for me
That into the darkness runs.

For, I am Spartacus;
May my feet carry me firmly;
To where victories are yet to be won.